Lonely and Bored

Hello, again! Lol. Anyway, it has been a long time. I thought of not continuing my blog but... I needed to write something. Besides, it's the reason of having a blog, right? Lol. Okay, let's start how my day went.

It has been bad for the past few weeks. Actually, this year is like a bad luck year for me; lots of unexpected things happened to me. I, too, have lots of problems. There's so many things in my mind and I had to just write it in my blog since not many people read it. Plus, I think I'll feel a little better to let out everything.

Anyway... let's start.

Okay, my sister has been ignoring me for the past few weeks. I don't know why but...yeah. And, honestly, I'm frustrated because she's acting like this. I don't know what's her problem. What did I ever do wrong?! Everytime I ask her a question, she wouldn't answer me. Seriously, she's pissing me off. Ever since high school, she has been acting like that. Talk about maturity! I doubt. She's still a childish moron (sorry for my obscenity, but whatever). I hate her!

Right...this might sound weird but I really have to say it. I envy her. She has lots of friends, she can find friends easily, she can make a scene, she's popular but not so. While me...I'm nothing. I feel like the odd one out. I think I'm anti-social. Do you know why? It's because I'm being too thoughtful and worry too much. If only I could let out everything I have to say or act normally. Perhaps, it's because of trusting people. It's probably the reason I don't talk much and keep everything to myself. It's just...I'm scared of saying whatever I want to say because I might hurt them. I think I'm the one who is sensitive, even though I shouldn't be. It's like if I say those hurtful stuff, it feels like I'm being stab at the back. Drama, much? Lol. But that's how it feels. I'm always taking the blame, the guilt. Sometimes, I wish I could say 'sorry' easily, but coming out from my mouth is harder than I think. So much for being matured.

Some people think being thoughtful and worrying stuff is good, but I don't really like it. As if I don't have a life, you know. Like I don't have a sense of humour. That's it; I'm being too serious. I take things so seriously; I want everything to be perfect, simple and easy. Talk about being a perfectionist. I think it's bad. Everywhere I go, people would say 'everything is not perfect' or 'people make mistakes'. Blah...blah...blah... Sigh.......

So... now I'm back to my ownself. You know, being the lonely girl. It's alright cause I'm use to it. Everyone do their own thing, I do my own thing. They shut me out, I shout them out. Easy peasy. :)

Sometimes it feels like a burden to me not talking everything out. But keeping to myself is a big habit to myself. It seems my heart will never settle. Not a single relieve.

Anyway, let's just forget about everything. I'm tired of people hearing me out because I hate to. So I'll just stop here. :) I must say, this blog has been a heavy topic. Lol. But that's what I'm thinking right now. Okay, that's for now. Toodles!